Be A Doll Page 5

  LILA

  In a normal situation, the bride probably was a nervous wreck upon marrying the man who would become her husband. After all, a wedding was often one of the great expectations a woman had when in a relationship.

  Today wasn’t a normal situation and I wasn’t a blushing bride in love.

  I kept on looking at myself in the mirror while I sat at the vanity in the room with my bridesmaid, a bridesmaid I had met three hours ago and who happened to be my future husband’s sister. I’d lie if I said that I hadn’t felt my heart warming when I put on my wedding dress and let the hair stylist secure my veil in my hair, but it wasn’t because I was glad to become Mrs. Grimes. I was enamored with my dress and while I knew a perfect wedding with the man I loved was out of the question, I was happy that at least a small part of a fantasy deeply buried came to life in the form of the most perfect dress I could have ever hoped for.

  I sighed and finally let my eyes drop from my reflection to settle on my hands tightly clasped in my lap. My nails were perfectly manicured and harbored a pale pink that complemented my carnations wonderfully and only completed the young blushing bride appearance. My engagement ring shone on my finger and I twisted it slightly as the feeling of being leashed increased as the seconds ticked by. My leash wasn’t around my neck, but around that precise finger and it wasn’t any less restricting.

  “Your dress is truly amazing, Lila. My brother isn’t going to know what hit him,’’ Megan Grimes said with a warm smile as she gently sat next to me on the other chair and checked my veil.

  Megan Grimes wasn’t what I had expected upon meeting my soon-to-be sister in-law. I had thought she would be cold and distant and would give me the cold shoulder, but she was the opposite, so much so that it was a wonder she was related to Mathis Grimes.

  With her deep brown hair in a delicate updo made of twists and probably a fair amount of pain to make her hair behave like this, her discreet makeup that accentuated her big brown eyes and her lips only harboring a nude lipstick, she was breathtaking in a simple way, yet with sophistication pouring out of her, but in a way that couldn’t possibly be described as snobbish. In any other circumstances I’d be happy to call her my sister in-law, but considering my impending marriage to her despicable brother and the wedding night that made me want to shudder in disgust, I could only feel relief that I hadn’t been stuck in this room with some brat I couldn’t stand.

  “Thank you, Megan. Your dress is stunning, too.’’ I offered her a small smile, but one quick glance at myself in the mirror showed me that I looked rather stiff.

  “I’d like to tell you something, but I’m afraid to hurt your feelings,’’ she said after a few seconds of silence.

  I stared at her and saw her fidgeting with the hem of her dress. The very pale gauzy fabric seemed to flow between her long and dainty fingers as if she was trying to catch water with her hands.

  “My feelings are well-protected. Tell me.’’

  She briefly pursed her lips as if considering my words and then she nodded. “When my brother told me about picking a wife from that place, I was sure I’d hate you and that you’d be so fake that my brother would be miserable, but you’re nothing like I had imagined.’’

  A genuine smile appeared on my face. “I can only empathize.’’ I chuckled softly under my breath. Not a sound escaped my slightly parted lips. “When you think about it, this arranged marriage is so unbelievable.’’

  “The most unbelievable part is that my brother is willingly getting married,’’ she added in a laugh that sounded so light that I envied her happiness when inside of me I either felt disgust at the thought of letting that man out there doing whatever he wanted with my body tonight and numb at the prospect of taking his last name and losing the last thing that was mine, even if it didn’t mean much anymore.

  “Don’t let all this hoopla fool you, Megan. Your brother isn’t going to be my husband in the way that he’ll fall for me and be faithful. This is a business arrangement that will be profitable for his business ventures. I’m only a tool he’ll use for as long as he wishes to.’’

  Her smile disappeared and she nodded. I wanted to pull my words back in my mouth when I realized that the lively spark in her eyes was extinguished. Maybe it was wrong of me to kill her romantic expectations here, but the harsh truth was that there was nothing romantic or glamorous. There was nothing I wanted more than to escape all of that and hope to build myself a nice and quiet life far away from all of that.

  I didn’t want to marry Megan’s brother and if I could, I’d escape with my pricey wedding dress on and run through Manhattan until I found a suitable hiding place where I could reinvent myself to never be found. But that was wishful thinking and I was well aware of that. If I ever wanted to get my own life and not end up in the streets again, I needed to get through this marriage for however long Mr. Grimes wanted. Then, and only then I could have what I wanted. I had to focus on that silver lining to go through all of this.

  “I’m sorry,’’ I whispered and when I locked eyes with Megan I smiled at her again to soften my previous words.

  “It’s fine. I…I guess I momentarily let myself be swept up in all of this, you know.’’ She made a swift move to point at my wedding dress and then at herself. “I want my brother happy and sometimes I think he forgets that success isn’t synonymous to happiness.’’

  “Knock-knock,’’ someone said as the door to the room opened, stopping me before I uttered something that probably wouldn’t have been very flattering about Mathis Grimes.

  When the door cleared the threshold I was met with a beautiful lady clad in a splendid chocolate long dress that showed off her figure. I gauged her to be in her fifties and she looked utterly amazing. Her smile was broad as she stared at me, detailing my dress as best she could while I was still seated. She brought a French-manicured hand to her mouth.

  “Oh, ma belle, you’re beautiful!’’ she exclaimed with a French accent as she walked in and promptly closed the door behind her.

  I smiled and understanding hit me. It was easy to see the likeliness between Megan and the older woman, and even with the groom if I looked past his cold face that was a contrast from these two women’s open faces and broad smiles.

  “Thank you, Mrs. Grimes.’’

  “Ma belle, you can call me Sylvie. You’ll be family in a few minutes.’’

  Family.

  I clenched my jaw at that and offered a stiff smile. I hadn’t been a part of a family in a very long time and the few memories I had of that time had nothing to do with the situation I was in today.

  “Mom, you should be getting to your seat. The ceremony is supposed to start in fifteen minutes,’’ Megan said, after checking the clock on the wall just above us.

  Sylvie waved her off as if it was of no importance. “It’s not like they’re going to start the wedding without the bride. Go and check on your brother for me. Your father is stuck with the Donhams.’’

  Megan quickly stood up and after a last pat on my shoulder covered by the best French made delicate lace of the bodice of my dress, she left the room. While I had been groomed to be the perfect trophy wife, I wasn’t exactly sure how to address the mother of the groom in such a situation.

  “You’re even more beautiful than I expected, Lila,’’ she said and took the seat vacated by her daughter.

  “It’s the dress’s doing.’’ My smile fell as my eyes stopped on my bouquet with pale pink flowers mixed with some white ones and deep pink in an elegant and refreshing assembly.

  “I think the woman wearing it is also for something.’’ She gently fussed with the back of my veil as her gentle deep green eyes took me in. I couldn’t explain it, but I had a feeling this woman would be one of the very few good things that would come out of my marriage with Mr. Grimes. I didn’t have a family and while Sylvie was the perfect example of what a lady from such a social circle should be, she also sent motherly vibes that made me want to gravitate closer to her and o
pen up. “My mother used to tell me that a woman with class and poise could very well wear the cheapest dress and still take the breath away from people in attendance.’’

  “It’s a nice saying.’’

  “And it was even more appreciated because the first time she told me that was on my thirteenth birthday and I spilt strawberry juice all over my pastel blue dress in front of my first crush. At the time I had thought it was the end of the world.’’ She laughed then with easiness, apparently not offended in the lightest that I was like a cold marble next to her, stiff, cold and unyielding. “Anyway, I wanted to talk to you a little just before the ceremony. You must be nervous and I know you don’t have any family.’’

  At that, I almost let out a crazed chuckle. Saying I was nervous was an understatement, but my nerves were tempered with an onslaught of emotions getting darker by the minute as doom seemed to settle deep in my chest where my heart was beating rather calmly.

  “What did your son tell you other than that?’’ I asked as I stopped twisting my engagement ring and curiosity took precedence on my otherwise dark emotions.

  A knowing smile appeared on her face. Some tiny wrinkles appeared in the corner of her eyes. I wanted to remind her that this wasn’t an ideal marriage and that if I asked it was merely because I strongly disliked her son and I’d rather know what he said behind my back, but I decided to keep my mouth closed instead. I already stomped all over Megan’s hopes earlier and I didn’t want to do such a thing to another woman I felt could very well become a nice fixture in my new life.

  “Apparently you have a spirit he likes, whatever that means.’’ She laughed quietly as her eyes never left my face, as if she was trying to decipher me. “I believe you two have met twice and you probably know he’s not an easy man to crack open.’’

  “He probably isn’t an easy man, period.’’

  “You’re not wrong.’’ She looked away then and her smile turned more strained as if a sad memory took a hold of her. “Mathis changed a lot over the years and he had always been one to hide what he feels, what he thinks. Don’t let his sometimes cold exterior fool you, Lila. He’s not a bad man.’’

  “Are you trying to ensure I’ll marry your son and keep my end of the arrangement and stay married and faithful to him while we’re together? Because, I can assure you, Sylvie, I have no other viable choice in the matter anyway.’’

  She shook her head and gently grabbed my hands in hers and squeezed with what I assumed was affection. Her warmth barely registered in my growing unease.

  “It’s not that, ma belle. I want my son happy and I hope you’ll be able to crack that constant mask he has on. I want him… to remember who he really is.’’

  “What does that mean?’’

  Sadness, intense and harsh in its nakedness, etched on her face. It was so sudden that I almost felt like I wasn’t facing the same woman. It was eerie really and made a shiver run down my spine in a way that only accentuated my uneasiness.

  “Lila, it’s not because we have money and that my son made a name of himself that we are exempt of pain and tragedy.’’ She sighed and released my hands as she sat back in her chair. Her eyes, so bright like emeralds minutes ago were now dark. “Mathis had a twin brother.’’ Her voice shook and that emotion betrayed in her voice conveyed perfectly what happened. My heart squeezed painfully in my chest. “He was very close to Maxime. Those two were never without each other.’’ She laughed at a memory, I was sure, but it was tainted and bittersweet in the way her smile seemed to fall in her next breath and her eyes stayed dark. “Mathis and Maxime had a bond I don’t think I ever really understood and when we lost Maxime, Mathis changed completely. He was… he was such a sweet and loving kid who was always laughing and smiling. He would light up a room whenever he walked in. Maxime was quieter, but still enjoyed to be a jokester when Mathis would pull him into it.’’

  “I’m sorry this happened to your family. I can’t imagine what it was like for you to lose a child,’’ I said quietly, suddenly taken aback at seeing another side to this family I had thought untouchable, and a man I had envisioned like a simple cold-hearted asshole. I had a simplistic view of my future husband because of my distaste of the man, when in reality things were never that easy to decipher and people always held more complexity than what met the eye. I should know this.

  “It’s the worst nightmare. A piece of my very soul left with mon ange. I’m only glad I didn’t lose both of my boys that day.’’ She patted my arm and stood up. “Remember that even if you find my son difficult to read, he’s not a bad man. He erected walls around himself for his protection and they’re still there twenty years later. It’s a wonder he’s going through with this wedding, so believe me, ma belle, he’ll surprise you in time.’’

  Instead of sharing my doubts regarding her last statement, I offered her a tight-lipped smile. “We’ll have ample time to get to know each other.’’

  A brisk knock at the door caught our attention as it opened to Mrs. Stein and her strict yet brighter than usual skirt suit made of a blue-grey fabric. Her smile stretched into a fake smile upon seeing that I wasn’t alone in the room. Mrs. Stein walked in, her kitten heels making a staccato sound on the floor as she extended her hand to my soon-to-be mother in law.

  “You must be Mrs. Grimes. I’m pleased to meet you. I’m Mrs. Stein and I’m escorting Miss Hodge here.’’ Her voice grated on my nerves and only raised my temper at her simpering tone and the plastic smile still on her thin lips painted for the occasion in a deep red. A vicious part of me hoped her lipstick would run in one of her wrinkles around her lips.

  “Mrs. Stein, yes.’’ Sylvie shook her hand but I saw her demeanor changing as she straightened and stood in front of the other woman. Where Mrs. Stein was rather short, Sylvie was all tall limbs and natural grace. The contrast between the two women was quite striking. “I suppose I should go and find my place.’’ She turned back to me and offered me a sincere and warm smile that pushed away some of my dark thoughts, as if coaxing hope to make an appearance for my sake. “Lila, you make a beautiful bride and I’m sure my son will be very taken. I look forward to spending some time with you.’’ She leaned down and kissed both of my cheeks as it’s customary in France. Before leaving, she nodded to Mrs. Stein and left without another word.

  “It’s a wonder this is going through,’’ Mrs. Stein said as she jutted out her chin as soon as we were alone in the room. Her presence alone made the air stifling and the need to find an escape more pronounced even though my ass was firmly planted on the chair and I wouldn’t go through the urge mounting inside of me. The prospect of having no roof over my head and being alone in the streets with all that entailed was enough to keep me in this nightmare. “I hope you put to good use what we taught you at the Manor because from now on what you do and say will not only reflect on you, but on your husband and his family.’’

  “I’m well aware you’d rather see another of your girls here, but let’s be honest, Mrs. Stein. You’re annoyed I’m about to marry Mr. Grimes, exactly the kind of client you cherish, but you’re thrilled I won’t be at the Manor anymore. There’s no lost love between us so let’s go through with this day and bid our goodbyes.’’

  I stood up and turned around to check that my dress wasn’t wrinkled and nodded at my reflection, before Mrs. Stein’s glare caught my attention in the mirror. Her glasses couldn’t hide the contempt she felt upon looking at me.

  She came closer to me and while she was shorter than me and more so with my heels on, I couldn’t ignore the threat in the mean spark in her eyes and the twist of her lips more sinister than anything else. “You think you’re so bright, Lila, but listen closely.’’ She leaned into me and we locked eyes in the mirror. I made a concentrated effort to not sidestep her because I didn’t want to show her that she was getting to me today. “The best you can hope for is ending up with a few million dollars on your account and a nice house your husband let you have to placate you for the divorce
, but I don’t think that is what is going to happen. In a year, maybe less, your husband won’t be able to take your attitude and defiance and he will ask for a divorce. Since you’ve signed the prenup you will have nothing to your name and you’ll be back to square one. I look forward to the day when you’ll be down a peg or two.’’

  “It would reflect badly on the Manor, don’t you think?’’ I balled my dress in my hands and kept my eyes on hers through the mirror as the warmth of her body seeped through me from behind, but it didn’t warm me, it chilled me to my bones from the ill intent I could feel pouring out of her.

  “Considering the client had been notified of your shortcomings and your file had two red marks along with several comments detailing your… hm, temper, the Manor won’t have to suffer from your failure. But it’d greatly please me, you can be sure of that.’’

  I turned around abruptly, searing heat in my eyes as my hand prickled with the need to slap that despicable woman, but the door opened with Megan and it stopped me.

  She walked in slowly, her eyes going to and from me and Mrs. Stein as a strained smile appeared on her face. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but the wedding planner said it’s time.’’

  Mrs. Stein nodded and glared at me one last time before she left the room and took with her the toxic air that made me ready to get away with murder. As soon as the white door closed after her, I let out a deep breath and shook my head.

  “I guess I was right on time, huh?’’

  I chuckled and stared at my future sister-in-law. “Is it that obvious?’’

  “If looks could kill, I don’t know who of you two would have been dead first. Who’s that woman, by the way?’’

  Megan went to the two bouquets and grabbed them. She sniffed them and sighed happily before she walked to me and gave me mine, significantly bigger than hers. The stems wrapped in silk the same shade of white as mine barely registered in my mind as the weight of the bouquet felt heavy, not because it truly was, but because I knew I’d have to say my vows in just a few short minutes now. Everything was too real, too definite.