We Shouldn't and Yet... Read online

  “You have plans? Should I stay out of the house until…’’ he trails off with a chuckle. His frown starts to ease up. After all, he doesn’t look too heartbroken, just disappointed and maybe a little hurt. And he saw Aideen last night. At least, he can see her without any issue and without having to go behind everyone’s backs.

  “I’m not bringing women home, Hal.’’ I shake my head and scratch at my shaved cheeks. Only a light scruff from the day covers my face and it’s itching me.

  “It’s your house, that’s all I’m saying.’’

  I stand up and stretch my back. It cracks right in the middle and I sigh in relief. “I already told you. It wouldn’t sit well with me.’’ I start picturing Aideen in my bed while Hal is in his bedroom down the hall. Actually, it makes me want to puke. But my dick enjoys the visual of a naked Aideen sprawled on my bed with her legs parted for me. I seriously have issues.

  He rolls his eyes and types a text message on his phone before he sips the rest of his beer, getting ready to leave. “We should have a night out this weekend. It’s been a while. What d’you say?’’

  “Aren’t you supposed to see Aideen?’’

  He shakes his head and flashes me his phone. “She’s going home to visit her parents. She leaves on Friday after work. Anyway, I think I really need a night to chill and forget this shitty week.’’

  I awkwardly pat his shoulder and that earns me another chuckle from him. Yeah, I’m not exactly the best at expressing emotions and shit with another man, even if that young man is my son. “She’s still your closest friend, Hal. That means a lot and dating could mess that up.’’

  “I know, but…’’ He shrugs. “I really thought we could have a thing. But there’s something different about her since she’s been here and I can’t put my finger on what it is.’’

  I clear my throat and rub at my neck. Well, that something is probably me. I force a smile to my face. Not only do I not know what to say to him when Aideen is brought up, but I’m also mad that I’m the last one to know that she’s leaving for the weekend. Even real communication we can’t have apparently. She’s been texting me since last Sunday and she hasn’t told me about this. I thought we were past this.

  “Saturday night we’ll go out. I work Friday evening. I’m volunteering at the gym to give a few self-defense lessons to some women and then I’m supposed to meet up with Q to help him build the crib for his kid.’’

  “Saturday.’’ He nods and walks out, his gait a little bit more assured.

  I’m no expert, but unreturned love should mess him up harder than that. I’m more messed up than he is just because I can’t see Aideen and fuck her as much as I want. Speaking of… I make sure that Hal’s car is speeding away and dial Aideen’s number, ready to clear things up. If there’s one thing I hate is when someone is taking me for a fool. If she’s having second thoughts about us, then she should just say it instead of stringing me along.

  It rings only twice before she picks up. “Hey, Jensen.’’ She sounds tired, but there seems to be a smile in her voice and it softens me a little. But it only makes my cock twitch in my pants.

  “Hey. My son told me that you’re leaving for the weekend,’’ I rasp, keeping myself in line. I don’t want to be an ass without knowing exactly where I stand. Then, all bets are fucking off.

  “Yes. I told my parents I’d come and visit them. Are you mad?’’ She moves around, probably getting something to eat.

  “Are you for fucking real?’’ I growl out and forget all pretense of calm and cool. I’m fuming. I stand up and go straight for the kitchen, pouring myself a strong drink, hoping the burning of the alcohol would calm me down.

  “What’s wrong with you?’’ I hear something crashing on her side. “I’ve had a long day at work with a group making all sorts of complaints about our service and I had to handle this mostly on my own. I’m beat and now you’re getting mad at me because what, I’m going to see my parents? Are you listening to yourself, Jensen?’’ Her breathing is rushed through the phone and it turns me on. It also makes me want to wring her neck. She’s seriously doing a number on me.

  “Don’t play that fucking game, Aideen. You’ve been avoiding me all week and you didn’t tell me about your plans this weekend. I find it very convenient.’’ I throw back my drink and slam the empty glass on the counter loudly.

  “I have to work, Jensen. I can’t exactly decide when I’m free or not to see you, okay? Damn, you should be adult enough to get that.’’

  I laugh without humor, shaking from head to toe as my muscles flex harder. “You’re afraid, aren’t you? You’re afraid of wanting me, of wanting to fuck me day in and day out. That’s the real issue so don’t go and hide behind your work. We’ve been texting for days and you couldn’t tell me about this weekend? Please, don’t disrespect me by taking me for some dumbass.’’

  I’m waiting for an answer, for a scream down the line, but instead I’m met with silence. I scowl harder and check my phone. Yeah, she’s hung up. I grit my teeth, put down my phone next to the whiskey bottle and pour myself another glass. I grab my drink and the amber liquid almost spills. I’m shaking from anger, from lust, from not exploding like I want. I sip my drink slowly, taking deep breaths, but nothing helps. My heart is still hammering in my chest, my dick is still hard as a rock and my body is tight and ready to pounce.

  Just as I polish off the last of my drink, the doorbell rings. I rub my temple and pad barefoot to the door, not caring that I’m not wearing a shirt. If it’s the old lady from next door looking for her cat again, I’m going to lose my shit. I open the door and I’m met with a tornado of brown hair and big angry hazel eyes.

  She pushes me back inside with all her strength and I’m too surprised to not go with the momentum. My back hits the wall in the hall as she steps in and closes the door loudly.

  “I know Hal isn’t here, he told me he’s meeting friends downtown.’’ She then squares her shoulders and crosses her arms over her thin tank top. I can see her nipples poking through the fabric. My sex crazed mind focuses there, enjoying the view of her braless tits. “I don’t have doubts. When I do something, I do it without a security net. I’m in this, Jensen and when I say I’m tired or that I’m leaving for the weekend, it has nothing to do with you. My world doesn’t revolve around you, asshole. Wake up or fuck off!’’

  I blink at her, unsure of what to say or do. I stay with my back against the wall, watching that little firecracker sizing me up and sneering at me. I smirk then and it pisses her off more.

  “I’m not going to fuck off, but I’m going to fuck you.’’ I put my hands on her hips, but she pushes me away again.

  “Too bad for you because I’m seriously not in the mood. Maybe you’re the one who should think about this thing because obviously I’m not the one with doubts.’’

  I frown and look away. She doesn’t understand that I’m obsessed. She’s always there on my mind and I can’t have enough of her. We’ve been together just a handful of times and it’s far from enough, but now that I know where she’s coming from, I’m…fucking scared. I don’t want to compete with a ghost or be the rebound guy. I don’t know what I want to be to her, but not the rebound guy and she’s treating me like a rebound or a fuck buddy.

  “You’ve been avoiding me. Last night you had plans with Hal and that’s fine, but on Tuesday you asked me not to come to your place. Why the fuck not? If you’re tired, you’d just have to open your door, Aideen. I’m not exactly high maintenance.’’

  She shakes her head and laughs, the tension leaving her at once. “I’d open the door and we’d have sex like there’s no tomorrow. What do you think it’d do to me?’’

  “It’d send you off to sleep even better.’’

  “And I’d be awakened in the middle of the night for another round.’’ She’s smiling sassily at me and I’m starting to smirk again, starting to get where she’s coming from and feeling like a jackass. And a dumb, unsure teenager. It’s laugh
able at my age.

  “And probably another.’’

  “I saw what it’s like to spend a whole night with you last weekend and there’s not much actual sleep involved.’’

  This time, when I grab her and pull her against me she lets me. I cup her face in one hand and I’m breathing easier again. I can forget how awful I’ve been sleeping these nights, how angsty I am and ready to crash and burn. She soothes me in a way I can’t fucking explain.

  “But now that you’re here, I’m not going to let you go.’’ I whisper softly, my eyes on hers, my body crowding her. She seems petite and feminine in my arms. And soft, so fucking soft against my hard body. And I’m seriously hard. She gasps when she feels my cock against her stomach.

  “You’re not?’’

  “In two seconds you won’t want to either.’’ I nip at her lip and push my cock more firmly against her. Her eyes glass over. My blood pumps harder in my veins, going straight south. Her breasts only covered by her thin almost see-through white tank top brush against my bare chest and I have half a mind to crouch down and take those suckers in my mouth. But I want to tease her first. I want to pay her back for this torturous week, for the days spent with blue balls and the minutes lost in the bathroom jacking off like a sex addict who can’t have enough. I want to fuck away the fear of losing this thing between us.

  “I already don’t want to.’’ She goes on her tip toes and catches me off guard. She attacks my lips and I’m powerless. I bring both hands to her ass covered by black yoga pants that leave nothing to the imagination and I groan in her mouth.

  Her dainty hands trace the muscles on my chest and my abs. I suck in when her mouth leaves mine and she opens my jeans. She smiles at me and the twinkle in her eyes makes my cock twitch.

  “Going commando again? Hm…I like that.’’ She pushes down my pants and I let her. I keep my hands on her shoulders, needing the contact with her. It’d be easy to think that she’s a manifestation of my overly sexual imagination.

  “What are you going to do ‘bout that?’’ I ask in a rough voice. I trace her shoulder and the side of her breast with the tip of my fingers and when she shivers, I cup her breast, tweaking her erect nipple between my fingers. She bites her lip and her hooded eyes land on my cock proudly standing between us. I twitch again and flex my abs. “Touch me.’’

  She licks her lips and takes my cock in her hand. Her touch is soft at first and I have to clench my jaw not to thrust in her hand, seeking the friction that’d be like fucking heaven. Instead, I clench my abs tighter. She wraps her fingers tighter around my base and I groan. I bring a hand to her hip and squeeze as my other hand lands in her thick hair. I’m breathing harder through my nose.

  She watches my face as she moves to my tip, right where the first drop of pre-cum gathers. With her fingers she smears it on my length and moves her hand back to my base, squeezing tighter still and I lose the battle. My hips push into her hand once, twice. My head falls back hard against the wall, but I don’t feel any pain. All my sensations are at my crotch, right where she’s giving me one hell of a hand job.

  “You like this?’’ she asks me in a whisper, her breath raising goosebumps on my chest.

  “It’s fucking good, beautiful.’’ She twists her wrist and I groan louder. I close my eyes. “Fuck yeah, just like that.’’

  Her mouth lands on my chest, right at my collarbone. She licks a path there and nips at me. I shiver and tighten my grip on her. She’s going to be the death of me if she keeps this up. I’ve never been so ready to come so fast. Then she traces my abs with her free hand, taking her sweet time to trace each bulge. She makes a low humming sound and I smirk down on her, opening my eyes into half slits. Her cheeks are red, her eyes dark and her lips swollen and ready for more kisses. Just before I lean down to her face, she squeezes my cock harder and moves a tiny bit faster. My knees start to shake and I groan out. “Damn it.’’

  She goes to my right pec and kisses it, taking her time to lick my nipple. I shiver again. My fingers claw at her hips, my hand in her hair tugs on some strands, but she doesn’t stop. No, instead she increases the speed of her hand and goes straight for my other pec.

  And she starts to lower herself, kissing my ribcage, my abs, my navel, the trail of hair down my navel leading to my cock and now…Now she’s on her knees, in front of me, looking up at me and I have to take a deep breath before I come on her beautiful face turned up to me as if asking me if she can take my cock in her mouth. As if I’d say no.

  I nod and her smile is the best fucking thing I’ve ever seen. She opens her mouth and slowly takes me in. I groan out loud when the feel of her warm, wet heat registers. On second thought, the best fucking sight is Aideen on her knees, her mouth open and my dick in it. With her dark pink lips stretched around it, her eyes closed as if she’s getting off on it as much as I am, her hand around my thick base, she’s perfection.

  I put a hand behind her head, but I don’t rush her. I just want to feel her head bobbing up and down. My other hand is clenched into a tight fist as I’m trying like hell to not thrust deep into her mouth. I don’t want to scare her. I have to let her do this at her own speed. But fuck if it’s not good.

  I keep my eyes open, but it’s hard. She sucks me hard and starts moving faster on me. Up and down. Up and down. I’m getting loud, but I don’t give a fuck. In fact, I love that shit because it seems to push her buttons too. She moans around my cock and the vibrations push a button.

  I thrust deeper in her mouth and groan like an animal. All pretense of being calm and slow are gone. I’m fucking gone. She stops moving then and I freeze.

  “Aideen, beautiful…’’ I croak, my voice too raspy to sound like me.

  Still with my cock deep in her mouth, she looks up and sucks me harder, pulling all the way up until my tip grazes her teeth and she moves back down, taking me deep, deeper than I thought she would. She gasps around me, but she doesn’t stop.

  “Shit!’’ I grab her head with both my hands, pushing her faster in to me, urging her on and my hips piston in and out of her mouth. “Fuck, fuck. Fuck!’’ I growl, my voice harsh in the quiet house. I’m breathing faster, harder. My chest is heaving. “Touch my balls.’’

  Her hand goes to my sack and she massages them softly, one of her fingers going behind my sack, and I’m done for. She teases me there and I come.

  “Aideen! Oh shit!’’ I howl out. I come, again and again and she takes it all, not once stopping, not once easing off. I come hard and long, so damn long. She swallows and lets go of my softening cock, a proud smile tilting her wet lips.

  I’m leaning heavily against the wall, my breathing far from slowing down. The blood in my veins is still rushing, the buzz in my ears very present. I don’t know how I’m still standing on my wobbly legs. I don’t remember the last time a blow job has felt so good.

  “Give me a minute and I’ll return the favor,’’ I say in between pants. I rub my face, scratching my five o’clock shadow.

  She shakes her head and closes the space between us. She plasters herself against me and my arms go around her without a second thought. She tilts her head upward and gives me an open-mouthed kiss, slipping her tongue in my mouth and I groan. I barely taste myself, something salty, but it’s enough to make me crave her. I just need a few to get my dick back in operation.

  “It was as much for you as it was for me, Jensen.’’ She smiles again, but this time it’s veiled with sadness. “I wanted to do it.’’

  I don’t want to talk about her ex. I don’t want to kill my mood right now, but I still have questions about him and I think I need answers. The poor guy had to go through some of the worst things and I’m sure everything that went down between him and Aideen were far more complex. But for now…

  “Okay. Let’s go to bed, then.’’

  “My car is parked right there. Hal will see it. I can’t stay.’’

  I frown and let her go when she pushes on my chest to take a step back. I reach down
my legs and pull up my pants, fastening them quickly.

  “Honestly, you gave me an incredible blowjob, beautiful, and I don’t want you to go.’’

  She sighs and runs a hand in her hair, trying to tame the mess I made. “Come back to my place then.’’

  “Let me grab a shirt.’’ I walk past her, but stop to kiss her forehead and I smile at her when I catch her own.

  But inside, I’m not smiling. She doesn’t know it, but she’s starting to get through to me. I hate having to hide what is going on. I hate lying and deceiving everybody. I want to flash her around as being mine. Last time it happened… No, actually I can’t remember when that shit was.

  “Jensen?’’ she calls me from behind as I put on a shirt I’ve left there on the kitchen stool.

  “Yeah?’’

  “You know, I hate this too.’’

  I face her again and walk back to where she’s waiting for me, right between the hall and the living-room. I cup her face in my hands and brush my thumbs on her cheekbones, and trace her lower lip. “But I fucking love this even more. Don’t you?’’

  “Yes, but I don’t know where it’s heading.’’

  “I don’t have a damn clue, beautiful, but I’m hell bent on enjoying the wild ride.’’

  She chuckles and pushes me away, walking to the door. I wait a few seconds, my eyes on her sweet swaying ass.

  ***

  AIDEEN

  I park in front of the house and shake my head when I see the lower level still alight. Of course they’d be waiting for me. It’s almost one in the morning. I yawn and rub my eyes before I snatch my phone and quickly send a text to Hal to let him know I’m safely at my parents’. Then, as my heart speeds up just at the thought of sending him a text, I type a few words for Jensen. If I’d known that we’d be “together“ by now, I would have never told my mother I’d be visiting this weekend. It’s too fresh, too new, too exciting with Jensen not to want to spend all my free time with him and explore all available surfaces to have sex on. I’ve gone from a restrained and frustrating sex life to a wild and sizzling one, bordering on kinky sometimes.