We Shouldn't and Yet... Page 7

  I nod and this time, I’m the one looking away. It’s always hard hearing about death overseas because it keeps bringing me back to the ones who died next to me, the ones I considered my friends. A sharp pain tears at me from the inside, the same fucking pain I’m desperately trying to run away from. But there’s nowhere to hide from this and I don’t know how to make it go the fuck away. I don’t know.

  “I’m sorry for your loss.’’ Expected words, almost meaningless at this point. It’s not a balm on an open wound. “Is it him, Hal was talking about? Yann?’’

  She closes her eyes as if I just punched her. She forces more air in her lungs before she opens her mouth. “No. Yann was my boyfriend.’’ She clears her throat and blinks back more tears. Suddenly, her eyes take a harder glint, losing that intense and vulnerable emotion. “And it’s an off-limits topic. Hal knows this, but he pushes and keeps pushing. It’s not like I’ve never talked about him with him.’’

  “I’m not going to ask. I know what it’s like not wanting to talk about something.’’

  “I know.’’

  Silence falls, but it’s not uncomfortable. If anything, it’s welcomed. But it gives me too much of an opportunity to watch her, to wonder about what she’s hiding, about who she is under that sexy, strong exterior. I now realize that I’m interested in her, not in just fucking her, that's a whole other mess in waiting.

  I sigh and stand up. When her eyes take me in slowly from my old biker boots, my black jeans, my chest encased in the regular black shirt and my face, I’m gutted. And harder. She’s there, still on the couch, her face turned upward, her big beautiful eyes on me and I only think about one thing. Kissing her. No, actually I think about two things. Kissing her, and fucking her right there.

  “I should go.’’

  Her pink tongue makes an appearance, drawing me in even more. “And the pizza?’’

  I scoff and rub at my neck. She looks down and her gaze stops at my crotch and the unmistakably bulge. She gasps and flushes and I’m ready to pounce.

  “Is it really about the pizza, Aideen?’’

  “I…forget it.’’ She flicks her hair over her shoulders and avoids looking my way at all costs, even when my dick is pushing hard against my zipper right in front of her.

  “No, I won’t. Tell me what the fuck you want.’’

  Cornered, she jumps to her feet and sidesteps me, barely brushing against me, but it’s enough to make me want to growl and beg for more of her, of her body. Without consciously doing so, she’s teasing me to insanity. I’m not a patient man and I’m not used to resisting what I want.

  “I need you to go.’’

  I face her, the armchair now between us. Fucking armchair. She’s still flushed, her eyes going up and down my body yet making sure to avoid looking at my groin region. But I want her to look there, I want to see desire in her eyes and not just uneasiness and something else I can’t pinpoint. I want her to want me just as badly as I do her.

  “Need and want are two very different things, Aideen. Now, what do you want?’’

  “Stop. Don’t do this.’’

  “Do what, huh?’’ I round the armchair and stop next to her, my chest against her arm. Just her warmth, knowing I’m touching her is altering the rhythm of my breathing. She’s not doing anything, not even looking at me now, but she doesn’t have to. I’m ready to blow in my pants like a teenager already. And when I was a teen I had more control over my cock. “Stop wanting you? Stop trying to push you into actually doing something about this?’’ I push my chest a little more against her arm. “Tough luck, beautiful. Tell me what you want.’’ I lean toward her ear, my breath raising goosebumps on her fair skin. “Now.’’

  AIDEEN

  A shiver runs its course all over my body. My nipples tighten and push against my bra. My panties are wet and everything in me is clenching, voicing what I truly want when my mouth isn’t cooperating. I can’t want him, can’t want this. But I do. I really, really do and it’s frightening me.

  His breath fans my heated skin, down my neck and into my cleavage. His strong chest against my arm makes it difficult to think and not turn around to explore his muscles. His smell, male and with a touch of cologne, gives me more wicked ideas than I already had. He’s all male, all man and that pushes all my buttons.

  “I can’t.’’

  A low growl comes from within his tight chest. “The hell you can’t. Just push me away and end this.’’ He runs his nose along the shell of my ear and I gasp again. “I dare you.’’

  “We shouldn’t,’’ I whisper brokenly, my resolve deserting me as I feel myself press back to the side to feel more of his firm muscular chest.

  “And yet… Yet it’s fucking there, isn’t it?’’

  I nod and face him, my head right where I know I’d be able to tuck myself right under his chin to breathe him in. But I don’t want to tuck myself right there. I want to let my eager hand explore his ripped body, I want my mouth to taste him, I want to hear the sounds he makes when pleasured. I want to see and feel his cock.

  “I want you, Jensen.’’

  “Brace yourself then, beautiful,’’ he rasps and cups my face in both of his big hands before he plunges for my mouth.

  I can’t keep in the moan at feeling his soft lips, his tongue meeting mine in a practiced dance and at the wonderful burn of his whiskers on my sensitive skin. His tongue runs along mine, brushing the roof of my mouth before he retreats and nips at my lips, sucking on my lower one before he deepens the kiss again. His hand delves in my thick hair while his other one goes down my body, lightly tracing the outer side of my heavy breast and down to stop at my waist. I protest in his mouth, wordlessly begging him to touch me some more, to do something to fulfill the intensity of the desire I feel. I’m shaking all over, but not once am I easing off from this kiss.

  His hand on my waist tenses when I bring my own hands around his neck, plastering me forcefully against his big body, undulating to better feel his erection pressing in his pants. I moan in his mouth, tearing my mouth off when the sensation sends sparks everywhere in my body. Just kissing that man makes me burn hot, hotter than what I have felt in so long…

  “You taste so good,’’ he says in my neck, licking and kissing along the way. His breathing is as labored as mine. He pushes his hips into me again and I moan again, my nails digging in his neck. “Feel so good too.’’ He bites me right where my pulse is hammering in my neck and I push his head into me for more. Always more. “That’s right, beautiful.’’ He snakes his hand between us and unbuttons my pants, now pulling his head away to lock his glassy eyes with mine. He’s a goner too, and knowing I’m the one doing this to such a man is driving me insane.

  His fingers play for a second with my panties before he pushes his hand inside after I move my hips into him, urging him on without doubts, shame or guilt. I’m just in the now, feeling so good, so sexy, so wanton. For once, I’m not thinking about what we shouldn’t be doing. Instead, I’m fully enjoying what we shouldn’t be doing and yet what we’re actually doing.

  He circles my wet clit once, and I have to grip his bulging biceps tight, my nails digging through the soft fabric of his shirt. His answering growl begs for me to open my legs wider, and I do. I hook my leg around his waist, my bare foot pressing into the back of his hard thigh. He presses on my clit repeatedly, circling it until I move my hips in rhythm, trying to press more, begging for more as my core clenches again and again. I close my eyes, head thrown back, neck offered for him to kiss, nip, and lick. My body is only shivers, goosebumps and sparks.

  “Tell me you want more,’’ he says in a husky voice I barely recognize, desire barely controlled adding something dark to his tone.

  “Jen…Jensen,’’ I stammer, my breathing labored, my voice thick. I moan and bring my head to his chest, right under his head, my lips now tasting his neck. At the first hint of salt and something all male, I moan louder, my hips move faster, urging him on. “I’m so close.’’<
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  “Fuck. Fuck.’’ He presses a finger inside me. Finally. We both moan when I clench tight around his thick finger. When he makes a come hither motion inside me, hitting right at that place that makes me see double, ready to come harder than I remember ever coming, he grips my hair behind my head, tugs harshly and kisses me deeply, intensely. And just like that, with the hint of pain on my scalp and the sinful movement of his finger inside me, surrounded by this intensely sexual man, I come.

  I shake violently in his embrace, barely holding upright when several waves of pleasure hit me. He removes his hand from my soaked panties and hugs me tight to him. Under my head, his heart is beating hard and fast and every few seconds, tremors run through him. But when I gather my wits again, I realize he’s still rock hard and I feel myself clenching again with another tug of desire, pure lust with the possibilities of what he has yet to do to me.

  Slowly, he pulls away until I’m looking up at his face, flushed under his five o’clock shadow. His lips are red, swollen from our kisses and his eyes are dark with lust. He’s sinfully gorgeous. With deliberate movement, he bring his hand to his mouth, the one that was in my panties. And he puts his index finger in his mouth, closing his eyes when his tongue swirls around it, tasting me without shame or uncertainty. I feel hot all over again, imaging what his tongue could do, because he’s already an amazing kisser. I can only imagine what he can do with it elsewhere. I bring my thighs closer, rubbing my legs discreetly.

  He reopens his eyes as he pulls away his damp finger. “I want to taste your pussy, but I need to be inside you. What do you say, Aideen?’’

  “You know the answer,’’ I reply breathlessly, still thinking of nothing else but this man.

  He nods and cups my head in his hands again. His mouth is now almost touching mine. I’m sure that if he talks I’ll feel the words his lips are forming on my mouth. He runs his nose along mine before kissing it. “I want you to say it. I want to hear your voice getting lower, thicker when you utter those words. I want to see the way your lips move to form these words. You know what to do, beautiful.’’

  There’s no room for fears or doubts. I’m only filled with lust, desire for this man and no other. He’s turning me on too much to deny him. I want him too much to deny myself this. I’m in the here and now and I want to feel him inside me. I need to see him naked and worship his tight body. I want to see him come, knowing that I’m the one giving him that kind of pleasure. I crave him and I’ve never craved someone on such a carnal need. It’s dangerous, but it’s too good to pass up.

  “I want you inside me.’’

  The feral look in his eyes gets more intense, overthrowing me and making my blood boil again. I don’t know if I’m the one moving first or if it’s him, but we’re kissing again. His tongue, soft yet demanding draws out another gasp from me. I run a hand in his short hair, over his whiskers, reveling in the sensation of the rasp against my palm. His hands travel from my hips to my ass, squeezing an ass cheek with his big hand, pushing me more harshly against him. He bites my lip, his eyes now open and locked on mine, a wicked smirk on his mouth as he pulls his head away. I don’t have enough time to question him when he takes me in his arms, hooking my legs around him as his hands grips the back of my thighs, dangerously close to my ass. I squeal briefly before his mouth attacks mine again in a soul searching kiss that makes me lose my bearings.

  I know we’re moving, I’m aware that he’s walking, but I don’t care, I don’t even worry that I’m too heavy or that he’s going to fall or drop me. In fact, I know he’s strong enough to keep me up in his arms and I’m too consumed by his kiss to think of anything else.

  Delicately, far more delicately than I ever thought coming from such a man, he lays me down on the bed I made with fresh new bedsheets. He stands between my dangling legs, his eyes roaming my body, stopping at my heaving chest and my stomach bared from my top that has ridden up when he put me on the bed.

  “Lose the shirt.’’ I point at his chest. “I want to see you.’’

  His smirk becomes a smile and I swoon. Right there.

  “Lose yours than.’’ He tugs his up and over his head in one swift move, rendered incredibly sexy by the ripples of his muscles.

  I sit up and strip off my top, throwing it next to his feet. But I don’t look at anything other than the expanse of bare skin laid out for my viewing pleasure. His skin is glowing softly in the dim light coming from the hall and the fading sun-rays from the outside. Some hair on his chest, forearms and down his navel adds to his sex appeal, so much so that I can’t mistake him for anything but a mature man. His muscles are visible, tight, but not overly bulky and there’s nothing tarnishing his body. I glance at his jeans hanging low on his hips, barely hiding the ‘v’ thing that’s always made me drool. The fabric of his pants doesn’t hide the bulge of his hard cock and I’m itching to touch it, to get acquainted with that part of him I’m craving.

  “Keep looking at me like that and I’m going to lose it, beautiful.’’

  “Maybe that’s what I want.’’

  He chuckles and loses his shoes and socks, only looking away a couple of seconds from my heavy breasts covered by a see-through black bra. “You don’t.’’

  I tilt my chin up, defiant. “I do.’’

  He crawls over me on the bed, making sure to press his erection along my thigh until it sits where I’m aching for it, pushing once, twice, three times into me. We both gasp and moan, clutching at each other, desperate and yet reveling in the tease, the burning torture.

  “I’m going to fuck your brains out, Aideen. It’s going to be good, hard, long and wild. Are you really sure you want me to lose it completely?’’

  I nip at his lower lip, harder than I did before and his eyes roll back. I smile and arch an eyebrow as I bring a hand to his ass and tilt up my hips. “I know what I want, Jensen. Now, give it to me.’’

  He kisses my jaw and down my neck. His tongue tastes me every now and then, keeping me guessing when it’d make an appearance. I arch up to him, asking for more pleasure without saying a word. He then nips at my shoulder, shy of giving me pain. Instead, another wave of liquid pleasure takes over me.

  He keeps most of his weight off me with one of his forearms near my head and pulls back just enough to palm my breast. I know what it’s like to be fondled, but being touched by this man is a new experience altogether. Maybe it’s because he’s much older than me, more experienced, maybe it’s the taste of the forbidden that makes me feel things more profoundly, but the thing is… I think that if he keeps touching my breast like this, I can come. I’m not usually that responsive.

  Through my thin sheer bra, nothing is hidden. His eyes greedily take in my rosy taut pink nipple tenting the fabric and soon, his fingers toy with it. It’s a soft touch, slow and teasing. I arch up again and I’m rewarded with a smirk on his swollen lips. I squeeze his ass cheeks, pushing him into me once more and he flushes more deeply, his eyes burning more than they already are. Countering my brazen move, his deft fingers pinch my sensitive nipple, harshly so. I moan out, almost crying, and his lips close around it, his tongue licking through my bra to soften the pain. I wrap my legs around him, my hands now both on his head, urging him on. I don’t want this to stop.

  “Jensen,’’ I say brokenly. I’m out of breath already, unsure of what I want to say or how to say it. I’m on sensation overload and it’s only getting more out of hand when his now free fingers go back in my panties while his mouth is still nipping, kissing, licking my nipples, one and then the other, over my damn bra.

  He circles my clit, already very sensitive from his touch earlier. I mewl and force his head back up to my face, taking his mouth forcefully. This kiss is wild, out of control. I don’t know where my tongue begins and his ends anymore. I’m lost to the motion, to the pleasure. My hips keep moving, up and down, up and down, mimicking what I want.

  He pushes his hard cock still covered by his pants against my leg, following the exact same r
hythm of his fingers around my clit, bringing me higher and higher still, something I thought impossible after coming just a few minutes before. I’m panting harder, faster, already starting to crest that hill toward the cliff, but he stops and pulls back on his haunches.

  “Wha—‘’

  My words die when he abruptly strips off his jeans, showing me he’s going commando under the denim. I’m pretty sure I moan at the first glimpse of him, but at this point I don’t care. I’m too consumed by what I’m seeing and I clench harder on nothing, hoping for the hard and thick cock in front of me. His tip is already glistening and I lick my lip imagining myself tasting him. But I stay put, mesmerized as I take the rest of him in.

  His strong legs with thick thighs lightly covered by dark hair are parted. His tight abs, a real six pack, lead to pecs dusted by more hair and topped by broad and impressive shoulders I’m dying to hang onto. The muscles in his arms bulge, as if it’s physically difficult for him to stay still without touching me. With clothes on Jensen is handsome, but without any he’s downright magnificent and too hot to handle.

  “Are you thinking about what I can do to you?’’ His rough voice hits me right in my core.

  “I was actually thinking about my mouth on your cock.’’ I would never say something like that usually, but I’m past shame and lost in this lust bubble Jensen has pushed me in.

  He groans and his cock twitches. Another drop of pre-cum glistens on his tip and I wriggle on the bed, eager. “You’re testing my limits.’’

  With shaky hands from the adrenaline coursing through me and my eagerness, I strip down to my underwear, throwing my pants in one corner of my tiny bedroom. His dark eyes don’t leave my body once. His eyes are like a caress on my feverish skin. If I close my eyelids I’m sure I’d be able to feel the weight of them on me, but I can’t not look at the naked and aroused man standing between my legs.