Messy Love Page 6

  It wasn’t my first foray in a club, but I would never be like these women sampling the goods of a passing guy. Even if the guy seemed to enjoy it. And he did. When he turned his head to look at some of these women, his annoying smile was there, and I bet his eyes weren’t scowling while looking at the cleavages presented to him.

  We finally reached the lounge section, and I immediately located Ralph’s crazy hair. He’s focused on a gorgeous woman sitting next to him with flaming red hair. She’s nothing like the type of girl I’d imagine him with, but one quick glance and I knew there’s something. The woman had a simple black dress showing a hint of cleavage, but nothing scandalous. In fact, I thought I was showing more boobs than her in my low cut tank top. But the way they both leaned into each other, eyes searching, hands slowly touching thighs… There’s history there and probably something complicated.

  Wyatt sat in front of the pair, nodding at a few other people sitting by. He kicked Ralph under the table and when he had his attention nodded my way as I took the seat next to Wyatt, pushed by my brother who was barely containing his laughter at my pissed look. Why did brothers always have to torment their little sisters?

  “Marissa, hey! How are you?’’

  I smiled at Ralph and the girl next to him, hoping it showed her I wasn’t here to steal her man and I guessed the message was received when she nodded at me and smiled gently. “Fine. I finished the design for your tatt earlier.’’

  “Shut up! I have to stop by tomorrow to have a look,’’ he smiled at me, eyes dancing. He turned to the girl next to him. “Emma, this is Marissa. She works at InkSpired, a tattoo parlor in Midtown. She’ll be inkin' over this sucker.’’ He pointed at the awful piece ruining his sleeve.

  Emma stared back at me. “Finally! Drunken mistakes shouldn’t be worn proudly like that.’’ I barely heard her light voice over the hard booming of the music.

  “Depends on the drunken mistakes,’’ Ralph replied, a pantie melting smile on his face as his eyes went down her body, shamelessly checking her out and making her blush.

  I turned away, feeling a bit intrusive suddenly. But when I glanced at my brother, I found him chatting with two guys from Wyatt and Ralph’s group. Great.

  I sighed and leaned further into the lounge couch.

  “Want a drink?’’ Wyatt asked me, his mouth so close to my ear I felt his exhale over my skin and smelled the faint trace of alcohol on his breath.

  “You’re asking nicely. What’s up with you?’’ I bit my tongue hard when I realized I was looking for trouble. For once, Wyatt acted decently, and I was trying to get a rise out of him. He brought out the worst in me.

  “Do you want me to be an asshole? It can be arranged,’’ he retorted without missing a beat, but this time around I didn’t detect the usual bite in his words that I’d learned to associate with him since I’d met him five days ago.

  I turned sideways and faced him. There's something oddly intimate when you faced someone so close that you could see each eyelid on the other person, that you could make out their distinct smell and saw so deep into their eyes they seemed like they’re bottomless with countless things that made them who they were without you knowing anything about them. But at that moment, when you locked eyes, and your noses were almost touching, you thought you could reach out and maybe touch bits and pieces of who the other was at heart, even through the bullshit they broadcast far and wide.

  Facing Wyatt like this, in the packed club with the music blasting so loud that it echoed through my chest and would undoubtedly make my ears buzz later tonight, I found myself unable to break the look, unable to pull away.

  “Why do you hate me? I didn’t do anything to you,’’ I mumbled, and his eyes left mine to fix my mouth as I talked too quietly for him to catch everything with the music blasting and the people at our table talking loud and laughing.

  He put an arm on the back of the couch, caging me partially. His forearm, warm, touched the back of my neck, tugging on a few strands that got caught in the wide leather band around his wrist. I didn’t need to look down at my arms to know my skin was breaking out in goosebumps. I sensed the small hair standing up, eliciting a slow traveling shiver through my body.

  When his eyes went back to mine, I didn’t understand why my anger at him wasn’t more biting. Instead, I waited for his next words.

  “You walked in my family, threatening our balance.’’

  I frowned at him. “I met my birth mother to get answers regarding my conception. I’m not part of your family and I never will.’’

  “Aren’t you going to keep in touch with my mother?’’ he pressed on, his eyebrows lowered over his dark eyes, hiding most of his expression from me. But I felt the tension coming back in the way he’s holding himself, in the line of his shoulders and how he gripped the back of the couch behind me. “You’ve walked in now. Things are going to change. Don’t delude yourself into thinking it won’t.’’

  “What you’re saying is that you’re going to make me pay for my need to get answers. Is that it?’’ I locked my jaw, grinding my molars before I let out my frustration at him. I didn’t come out here tonight to get in a fight. I was supposed to be having fun, drinking, and dancing. I was supposed to be happy, not mad.

  “Have you stopped to think just once before you barreled into my mother’s life what it’d do to her and her family? To her little girl?’’

  I made sure to keep my eyes on his, so close it’s impossible for an outsider to know we’re in fact having an argument instead of getting ready to kiss. But kissing him was the farthest thing on my mind. My heart wasn’t just beating rapidly anymore; it’s hurting at each beat as if it’s breaking a bit more every time the muscle pumped blood, fracturing the fragile flesh.

  “I’ve been wondering things about my birth mother since I was eleven, Wyatt. When I got the information regarding her family, I hesitated in risking a visit. I almost didn’t, but do you have any idea what it’s like to be wondering if your conception isn’t the result of abuse? Do you know what it’s like to have all these pieces about yourself missing? Do you know how scary it was for me to go and see Lydia?’’ I was breathing loud, my chest heaving uneasily. “Just… Forget it. I’ll be out of your hair.’’ I looked away, glanced at Ralph and found him busy whispering in Emma’s ear. I shook my head and turned to Jamie, still chatting and laughing with the other guys. I tapped on his shoulder, ready to let him know I was leaving.

  He turned around, and one look at my face had him glaring at the man responsible for my emotional distress over my shoulder. “Marissa?’’

  I shook my head. “Don’t worry. I’ll get a cab. Enjoy your night, okay?’’

  “I’m not going to let you go alone.’’ He slid out of the lounge couch and grabbed my hand, glaring one last time at Wyatt before he towed me away without a single look or word to the guys he had been having fun with. I didn’t look back either. I was too caught up between the need to yell and the urge to cry. Nothing good could come out of an emotional shortage.

  ***

  WYATT

  I stood up, cursing loudly, but my voice got lost in the beat of the song I barely heard through the damn buzz of the blood beating against my temple. I ground my teeth and pushed away a guy standing in front of me, blocking my path to catch up to Marissa and her brother.

  This time, I didn’t pay attention when a few women tried to get me to notice them. I didn’t give a fuck about getting a piece of tail to tie me over for tonight.

  Right now, all I thought about was going to Marissa before she left. To what end? I didn’t have a damn clue, but it’s a need I felt from the pit of my stomach, a need so strong it made me break out in cold sweat at the idea of never seeing her again. For all I knew, she’s about to leave my life forever.

  I had thought that’s what I wanted but… Not like this.

  As soon as I left the darkness of the club, I looked around, convinced I missed them when I caught a glimpse of two people walking
close to each other on the opposite sidewalk, probably heading to a busier street to grab a cab.

  “Marissa!’’ I yelled, my voice a roar in the otherwise rather quiet street saved for the line waiting to get in the club. Heads turned to me, but I didn’t stop. “Marissa, wait!’’

  But she didn’t respond. Only her brother faltered and glanced at me, a look on his face that left me no doubt; he wanted to fuck me up pretty bad. I couldn’t blame him. I’d ruin anyone who would hurt my little sister too.

  He snatched Marissa’s elbow before she could get too far away and tugged her closer to him as I jogged, zigzagging between a few cars to join them on the sidewalk.

  “If you’re here to upset her again, turn around now,’’ Jamie said, a warning in his voice as the muscle in his jaw ticked. He didn’t worry me, but I respected him.

  “I need a word,’’ I replied gruffly, tugging on the collar of my shirt sticking to my chest from the humid air that chased away the night chill from earlier.

  She shook her head and refused to look my way. “There’s nothing to say. Come on, Jamie.’’ She tugged on her arm and freed herself, took a step away and before I was aware of what I did, I forcefully turned her around and kept a hand on her shoulder. Her skin was warm and smooth, barely covered by the thin strap of her top. Shit, my hand covered all of her shoulder and part of her collarbone. I itched to delve my fingers into her thick hair and tilt her face back to… Yeah, it wasn’t the time to have that kind of thoughts.

  “I need a minute.’’

  She finally peered at me, and it made me feel shame. In her eyes, there’s a world of pain, some of which came from a place I knew nothing about. “Why should I give you this minute? Why are you even following me, uh?’’

  “Maybe you should—''

  “Don’t, Jamie. Don’t take his side!’’ She held up a hand to shut her brother up and shrugged me off. I tightened my grip on her, but when she narrowed her eyes at me, I let her go. “I’m done. It’s funny really. When I decided to meet my birth mother, I thought she’d be the one shutting me out, pushing me away and hurting me. I never thought it’d be a member of her family giving me hell for existing. Sorry, I’m alive, asshole.’’

  She turned away once again, and I closed my hands into fists. “You don’t know what it’s like to be adopted at thirteen and be afraid of losing your new family. That damn fear has never left me,’’ I blurted out, voice rough as I shredded a part of me, bleeding it out through my gritted teeth. And fuck, opening that part of myself hurt.

  She stopped, but her back was still to me.

  “You’re her blood.’’

  “She gave me up, Wyatt,’’ she whispered back. “You’re the one she went out of her way to welcome into her life.’’

  This time, when she walked away, I let her. I barely noticed it when her brother jogged away to join her. My eyes were on her, and this time, I didn’t see her as a woman I’d have easily fucked if the situation was different, and I didn’t see her as an enemy either.

  This time when I stared at her until she turned into the next street and the building hid her from me, I saw a young woman who was trying to live her life with the cards she’d been dealt with.

  Like me.

  But she wasn’t fucked up from it all.

  She’s lucky, and she’s a great person.

  WYATT

  “It’s wicked!’’ Ralph exclaimed, showing off his fresh ink.

  The tatt looked better than I expected. The colors were fucking genius, and the design itself worked wonders with the existing sleeve. Marissa was talented. Even with the raised skin all red and hard pink you wouldn’t think it’s an apprentice’s job.

  Fuck, every time I thought of her since what happened a few days ago I felt like breaking something. I grunted and focused again on my job filling out info regarding a new guy who hired me for light training for his wedding in a couple of months.

  “Is that all you can come up with?’’ Ralph asked. I glanced at him as I gave Jenny, the college student working a few hours a week, the paper to put in my new client’s file.

  “If you expect me to break out in fucking lyrics over your ink, think again.’’

  I turned around and made my way to the smoothie bar to get something to rehydrate myself, and when I realized Ralph was still there, nowhere near ready to get a work out in today, I had to check myself before I snapped at him.

  Shit, it wasn’t his fault what happened with Marissa. It wasn’t his fault if I was pissed he went to see her while I had no idea if I ever would again. It wasn’t his damn fault if she’s always on my fucking mind, so burned in there that I didn’t know how to get rid of her or what it meant.

  “When I mentioned your name, she clammed up.’’

  “Do you have a question or are you just listening to yourself talk?’’ I leaned against the bar. “Hey Joan, can I have a Strawberry Blast?’’

  “Right on it, big guy,’’ Joan said with a smile and went to work.

  “Hey Joan,’’ Ralph saluted her before his attention went back to me. “What happened the other night?’’

  I gripped the towel around my neck and dried my neck and face still damp from the workout I put in with my new client. Once or twice a day I preferred to work with them to show them I wasn’t just the guy here to order them around and torture them. I was a participant. It always helped to bond with the clients and gain their trust. Otherwise, they wouldn’t push half as hard as they could.

  “You were busy with Emma, like always when she bats her eyes at you and she’s single.’’

  I wasn't judging. Ralph and Emma were adults, and they could fuck each other however and how often they wanted, but their relationship was complicated to follow, even for me and I’d known them for years.

  Ralph and Emma had never been a couple, but whenever they were both single and met up, they ended up fucking each others’ brain out. Then it would get ugly, and I ended up with a sullen Ralph who found nothing better to do than to go out, get drunk and fuck the first piece of tail he’d find. I didn’t get it. I didn’t understand why Ralph took up all this shit when he could have fun whenever he wanted with other women. Even if Emma truly was a nice person, but she messed with my best friend’s head too much.

  “This time we didn’t fuck,’’ he said distractedly as Joan gave me my freshly made smoothie and we walked away to get to one of the few high tables bordering the bay windows overlooking the streets in Downtown Atlanta. “I dropped her at her place and left.’’

  I arched an eyebrow at him.

  “I told you two months ago, asshole. Emma and I? It’s over. I’m not goin' to keep up with this shit going on.’’

  “It didn’t look like it the other night.’’ I slurped on my smoothie and reveled in the taste of the strawberry, banana, and vanilla.

  He turned his arm sideways and looked at his new ink, a smile on his face. “When Emma’s around I momentarily forget not to think with my cock. But I told her I’m tired of her usin' me. She seemed surprised.’’ He shrugged nonchalantly, but I saw it on his face, and I knew this fake smile. The fucker was harboring some feelings for the redhead woman. He and Emma were the perfect example for me to avoid getting attached to one woman other than my mother and my little sister. They were the only women in my life.

  “Speaking of, what happened the other night?’’ he asked again.

  I sipped my smoothie, trying to come up with something but I knew it’s ridiculous. It’d been days, and the fucker hadn’t stopped asking me questions. At first, he thought I had left with Marissa because I went home after she left. I ended up camping in the middle of the mess from the working crew on the renovation I was doing in my apartment.

  “We had a fight,’’ I remembered the look on Marissa’s face. “I think I messed up.’’

  Ralph snorted and played with the stud through his eyebrow. “You mean you hurt her.’’

  “Wha—''

  “Don’t pretend you didn’t
. She looks like she’s barely slept and she didn’t smile. Not once. Shit, you can’t go around and spout shit to people you don’t like so you feel better about your mess, Wyatt.’’

  I glared at him and finished my smoothie at once. “You don’t know shit, Ralph.’’

  “I know you.’’

  I ran a hand through my sweaty hair and scratched at my scalp. “When I see her she makes my fucking blood boil.’’

  “Like any red-blooded male when he sees her.’’

  “Not like that, fucker.’’ I shook my head and cringed. “Well, not only like that. Damn it. It shouldn’t be possible to want to fight with a woman and want to fuck her too at the same time. It should be either or. Not both.’’

  “You can always fight, then fuck the anger out of both your systems. It had worked for Emma and me. Guaranteed hot sex.’’

  “You want me to fuck Marissa?’’

  He shrugged and looked around, eyeing a young blonde woman bending at the water fountain, but in his eyes, I didn’t see the appreciation I should find there when he fixed a round and firm ass in tight pants. “I’d do her if I had an openin', but after seein' all that tension between you two, I’d rather not be mixed up in all of that.’’

  I unclenched my fists, now realizing the tension in me flowing out now that I knew he wasn’t interested. I rubbed my face and groaned in my palms. “Fuck. Shit. Damn it.’’

  “And he opens his eyes,’’ Ralph said, laughing at my expense.

  I scowled at him and sat straighter in the high chair. “I can’t shag my mother’s biological daughter. It’s too fucked up.’’

  “Lydia doesn’t have to know.’’ At my silence, he looked around us and leaned over the table. “It’s not like I’m telling you to grab Marissa and drag her to Vegas for a shotgun wedding. It’s just sex. Maybe afterward you’ll be less uptight when you’re in the same room.’’

  I didn’t need much to picture her naked. My cock hardened in my baggy shorts as the thought took form. I put a hand over my crotch before a co-worker caught my hard-on and thought it’s my best friend’s doing.